So that all may see and give God all the glory;

It's been the most mixed of emotions the past five days.

From sadness, to tiredness, to sickness and ultimately joyfulness.

Church camps are always the best,

because they always get me thinking.

Thinking of His grace and faithfulness,

despite my unworthiness and inadequacies.

More importantly, of dedicating yet another year to come to Him.

At times, I feel really ashamed of myself.

Because even though I've often said that I surrender everything to Him,

I still rely on my own strength to get by.

When disappointments come, I question.

I keep focussing on the sufferings that I've been going through that I failed to see the blessings He has given me as well.

I keep being the person that grieves Him.

But it shouldn't be that way,

because extreme surrender means praising God in good times and in bad times,

thanking God when things don't go the way I want it to,

and trusting completely in His sovereign plans for me.

And looking back at this year,

I know there are many times when I haven't been the best friend / daughter / sister / leader / student / teacher and you know just the person to those I'm around.

But I've always wanted to be that better person.

Yet I've been stubborn, I've been ungrateful, I've hurt, I've complained, I've neglected, I've allowed the things of this world to get the better of me.

And these long list of things could go on forever.

But you know what's so amazing?

Through it all, and as undeserving and insignificant as I am,

He has sustained me, forgiven me and loved me,

and it brings so much joy within me,

so much so that it's indescribable and overflowing.

Indeed, He is my joy unspeakable, love unfailing, author and perfecter of my faith.

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